Empty Hands that Offer Praise

March 28, 2011

It was a very big day today.

It was very good. But it was really hard.

We started off today by going into the township on a prayer walk. It was amazing. AH. I feel like I can’t accurately describe anything right now because my heart hurts.

There was trash EVERYWHERE. In an ironic, sad way, the colorful trash added a wry beauty to the township. Goats and cows grazed not in the grass, but in the trash. The animals eat the trash, and the people get sick from eating the animals because the animals are consuming the trash. There is also no trash program. People put their trash in a place in their front yards and then once a week, a man comes round and BURNS their trash, which emits nasty toxins into the air, also making people sick.

The cleanliness standard here is ridiculously low compared to the states. People throw their “rubbish” anywhere, because literally THERE ARE NO TRASH CANS! At Ethembeni, there is not ONE “rubbish bin.” Nada. Of course you’re not going to throw your trash away… because there is nowhere to throw it. Except on the ground.

We went to a preschool! Ohmygoodness. These children. I NEED to adopt a child. I am growing restless! A few things that really struck me about the kids:

1)    their eyes. Some of them were so full of life! Their eyes SPARKLED! It was completely beautiful! And yet, some of them had eyes with nothing. No life, no shine, no joy. Hopelessness. At the age of 3 or 4, they already had desolate spirits. They needed love. But don’t we all?

2)    The other thing that struck me was a feeling of timelessness. They are never going to leave their township. I have never met ONE kid who has left Mpophomeni. They live in innocent oblivion, never knowing what is out there. And I don’t know if it’s good or bad. On one hand, they are living contently. But is it really contentment if you don’t know about other ways of life? On the other hand, perhaps if they were introduced to the world outside of Mpophomeni, maybe they would be inspired to try to find a way out, and battle their way to a better life. But WHAT is better? And by whose definition? By the American standard, they NEED to get out and find a great job so they can provide for themselves and gain more material items. But is that better? Would this hopeful people loose their joy, trust, and faith if they suddenly had everything?

I hope that doesn’t happen to me when I am suddenly thrown back into my ridiculously blessed material life in America. But maybe that will be an experiment. I’ll let you know how it goes J.

The prayer walk was really positive. I loved being in the community and learning more about the place where my dear children at Ethembeni live.

I was proposed to again. Hurrah.

When we got back, I was having a party with my camera. Mandisa, an 18 year old with a 3, almost 4, year old son, came to the center early. She saw my camera and asked if I would take her picture. Of course! We went outside and took her picture. I asked if she wanted me to take more?

“Can I get Phila?”

She went and grabbed her son. And I did a mini family photoshoot with them on the jungle gym. After we were done, she asked to look at my pictures.

She went through every single picture on my camera. At every other picture, she would stop and say, “What is this?”

“Oh, I was singing at a baseball game. It’s kind of like rugby..?”

“I love to sing. I never get to sing for anybody. Is this your family?”

“Yes,” I tell her.

“And who is this?”

“Oh, that’s my dad.”

“Your father? He still lives with you?” I nod. “Wow.”

Silence.

She breaks it with, “And who is this?”

“That’s my grandfather.”

“He is still alive?! WOW!”

Next picture.

“Is this a dinner party?” She is looking at Francesca’s birthday dinner. We are all dressed up. Tommy is serving us by candlelight in a tuxedo.

“Yes. It was my best friend’s birthday.”

“Wow. Your life is perfect.”

Your life is perfect.

Those words will forever haunt me.

What was I supposed to say to that? All I could come up with was:

“Yes… It is. I am so blessed. I am so grateful…”

SO lame.

My life is perfect.

But you know what? They have some things I never will. They have a gratefulness that is unrivaled. They completely rely on God for everything. Literally. Without Him, they have no food, no shelter, no safety, and most importantly, no hope. They have legitimate JOY. They are JOYFUL in receiving every gift God gives. When your hands are empty, you can use those hands to praise the Lord. When your hands are blessed with anything, you use those full hands to offer thanks with your heart AND your full hands.

I wish I could show everyone this spirit! I wish I could capture it in my soul and be an example to those around me when I return to the States! Lord, give me the strength to honor these people I love with this new attitude.