Love.

February 23, 2011

Hi, I’m Renna Nightingale and I am an INFJ.

AHEM.

I ntroverted

IN tuitive

F eeling

J udging

What are you?

Destiny is kind of obsessed with personality tests and last night she convinced me to take the Myers Briggs. Before taking it, she told me she thought I was extraverted! I think that is so interesting! Am I allowed to take that as a compliment?? To me, extravert-ism is thriving well around people. Lame? Ok, fine. But still. I am going to see that as a compliment.

Another revelation: I think I have been confusing introverted-ness with lack of confidence. I was talking to Rachel today about being insecure, and once again, she was all, “RENNA! I don’t know why you say that because the first time I met you, I was blown away by your confidence!” This keeps happening. Maybe, just maybe, I am NOT unconfident. MAYBE I am just uncomfortable with being introverted. PSHHH. I feel like that is a WAY easier issue to fix! If this diagnosis is correct, man, I am IN THE MONEY!! WOOOO!!!!

Today in History and Culture, we finished that movie about Apartheid and Steve Biko. It was SO hardcore. It was banded in South Africa because it was made during Apartheid. Reg says this is the most accurate film about Apartheid in existence. There were instances in the movie where I have BEEN to the location! I have LEARNED about the event! I was moved to tears.

I realized something that may scare those of you who like having me around.

I am in love with Africa. I love the people. I love their attitude of helping one another, and feeling each other’s pain! I love their idea of family as being forever. I love this landscape. I love the sunrises and the trees and the grass and the ever-changing weather and the relaxed atmosphere and the hope… I could go on all day!

I don’t want to leave.

Francesca told me this would happen. But I didn’t believe her J. Yep. She was right.

I also realized what a different person I have become. It has been a month, and already, I feel like a new person. I have not forgotten the old me, but I feel like I have improved, I guess, in many ways.

My eyes are so much more open. I am much more accepting of new ways of life and new people and new customs and new traditions… I feel that my heart has become much more empathetic and compassionate.

I have never had a stronger desire to help people than today.

I feel like I am a much more relaxed, chill (if you will!) person.

And yet I have still managed to find JOY! I was reading an essay I wrote about a month ago for applying to ROME! (!!!!!) And I realized I had an exclamation point after pretty much EVERY sentence. Ahem. I think that’s how I live my life. There are no periods or question marks. Only exclamation points! And I’m ok with that J

So far, I think I have done a commendable job focusing on joy instead of fear today! I’m happy J

I went to the mall today, and mostly decided to go solo. At the beginning of this trip, that was my NIGHTMARE! I get lost ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE and I didn’t want to get lost in a MALL in SOUTH AFRICA! But today, I decided I was ready for the challenge. It was so peaceful. I loved walking around by myself, completely aware of the people around me. It was nice to have that independence, as well as a little quiet time J Besides, although I have had favorable shopping experiences so far, I still have yet to find a shopping buddy like oMama. (<- Yeah, that’s Zulu. For my mama. Aren’t you glad I translated? J) That was positive!

Fun fact: Even pedestrian flow of traffic in the mall is to the left. Hmm.

Right now I have THAT feeling. You know the one you wish you could bottle it and keep it for a rainy day? Where you heart soars and the world looks bright and a smile is ever gracing your lips? This is where I am now. I know I won’t feel like this forever… but I am savoring it while it lasts J. I am dancing in the glorious blessings of my amazing Father.

Shalom!