A MIRACLE has occurred.

OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!! A MIRACLE HAS OCCURRED!!!!!!! TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It all started 4 years ago in French class.

I was THAT kid. You know, the annoying one who ALWAYS knew the answer? I didn’t try to be obnoxious. I just feel bad for the teacher when no one participates! I mean, come on, give them a break. With 30 pairs of malicious eyes staring them down or sleeping when they’re trying to convey a lesson they once were passionate about? Have some compassion, people. So anyway, that was me.

Besides being congenial, I was actually good at it. I loved the language! It was so beautiful! And I felt so sophisticated! “Bonjour, Je m’appelle Renna. Je voudrais un croissant avec le nutella!” Basically, I was ready to take on FRANCE. Since I was so French-ly gifted, I never had to study. What a life! I didn’t appreciate it. I thought it WAS the way of life.

Fast-forward to my freshman year of college when I somehow decided to travel 10,000 miles away to the other side of the world and take a foreign CLICK language. Sound familiar? (This is the part in the horror movie where the audience is screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! STOP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!) Me, being my precocious self, decided Zulu was easy. Super chill. And I would, like, get it like I, like, totally got my French.

Alas, this is where the fairytale ended. Everyone in class studied pretty much everyday. Oh, not I. There were waterfalls to explore! Zebra to hunt! Monkeys to chase! Genius blogs to compose! (<- haha!) Soon, the test was coming. And I still did not have a grasp on this i-want-to-poke-my-eye-out-with-a-fork-if-I-have-to-say-this-again-language! Cue PANIC!!! How could this happen?! I have a 4.0 in college! I am miss smarty-pants! IDENTITY CRISIS!!! And yet, it was too late.  It was too close to the test to learn everything I needed to. EVERY WORD SOUNDS THE SAME!!! Anger! Violence! (In my mind, of course. I don’t believe in actual violence!) Thrashing of metaphorical waves of confusion! I’m drowning! My arms are too weary to keep me afloat! Should I keep going?! No.. It’s too late. And down I drifted into the classroom to take my test. I was already resigned to fail my first test EVER. (Literally. I have NEVER gotten lower than a C in my LIFE.) My only prayer: “Dear Lord, please don’t let me get the lowest grade in the class.” I take the test. Yep. DEFINITELY C, if not F. Sigh. But! Tomorrow’s a new day, I tell myself!!! I will KICK Zulu’s butt. Watch out.

That resolve lasted for a while today (I STUDIED. And did not do much better than before, pre-studying. SO THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?! SO MUCH MATERIAL!!! I AM ONLY HUMAN!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET THIS?!).

Yet that fiery resolve had fizzled out by the time I got to Zulu class tonight. We were MOVING ON, no review, when I was still fuzzy from the FRIST DAY!!!! I was about to cry. My desk was COVERED IN PAPER. I NEED to be organized, or I have a melt down. Since I wasn’t organized because there was SO MUCH, you can guys what was about to happen. My professor, Wyn, noticed my oh-I-just-found-out-my-favorite-dog-died-when-my-dad-was-backing-out-of-the-driveway-this-morning look.

“Renna, are you alright?”

“Um. I’m actually feeling quite overwhelmed. I think I’m going to cry.”

“Oh. Don’t.”

Thaaaaaanks. Super encouraging. Good one, Wyn.

Then, she comes around to pass back our tests. Now I am DEFINITELY GOING TO CRY.

Wyn places the cursed paper amongst the LEGION of papers on my desk.

“Nice work.”

NO WAY. She is MAKING FUN OF ME?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! We’re at a CHRISTIAN school!!! AHHH I want my mommy!!!

SIGH. I suppose I must look at my grade eventually.

But I have to search for it, as there was, like I said, an ARMY of papers on my desk.  

Rumage, rummage! Shuffle, Shuffle!

There it is.

What is that I see? An A?! AN A?! AN A!!!

My first reaction: laughter. I am busting up. This causes the other students to look at me.

Wyn announces to the whole class, “Renna got the highest marks, and she’s more worried than all of you, hahaha!”

Whispers break out. “RENNA got the highest score?!” Yep. I wouldn’t have believed it either.

Thus, a miracle has occurred. And now I will study.

DEEP SHTUFF:

It’s fascinating to find out how people are feeling.

I’ve been delaying talking to someone for some reason. Fear, I guess. But now I know it’s not ABOUT me. I need to help other people, man, and get over myself.

Something I am quite enjoying today is the ability to completely be myself. I am stuck with 55 people for 3 ½ months; my true self is going to come out eventually, and I might as well see who likes the real me as opposed to conforming to my perception of the friend everyone wants. Forget THAT. Also, we’re not allowed to date on this trip, so I have no one to impress! Woooooooo!! It’s kind of like camp. I hated that at first. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE CAMP! But that’s the reason I didn’t go to High Sierra. It felt like a summer camp. But now, I am seeing the fantastic positives that come along with “camp.” A few examples: “My hair looks gross. I don’t have time to wash it. Deb, can I borrow some baby powder? [it’s a dirty hair miracle.]” and my personal favorite, “AHHH A ZIT!!! Oh, wait. NO ONE cares today. Score!” I am reveling in not caring what I look like, wearing clothes that serve ONLY to make me happy (today I’m wearing a dress with a leather Hippie headband. Peace, Love, and Harmony! J), and wearing make up because I enjoy it and think it’s fun, not because I actually care what I look like. Super duper liberating.

I also realized that everyone has a story. (yes, DUH.) But I am realizing how much I LOVE to hear these stories! They are so unique! And every story has the fingerprints of the Creator. Sometimes, I see it even when the storyteller doesn’t. I can’t wait for them to see the evidence of Christ’s love in their life too.

Someone wise once quoted someone wise, and as I am also someone wise, I shall quote it to you! J “There are two ways to view life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.” How do you see it?

That quote is so relevant here! I am constantly reminded of beauty and grace as I stare at creation all day! I love the feeling of grass under my toes, of sunshine warming my skin, of the breeze as it brushes my face… It is almost impossible to be negative here. You legitimately have to try. And who has the effort? J

Ever think about that? That it takes MORE effort to complain than be positive? Did you know it takes more muscles to FROWN L than SMILE?!?!?! Why would you waste the effort?! Life is seriously what you make it, guys! You are writing the pages of your story, moment by moment. Is today going to be a happy chapter? Or a negative chapter? Will you win or fail? I guess that comes down to the definition of winning. To me, winning is staying true to what you believe in every situation, overcoming fear with courage, overcoming sadness with a smile and beating life-suckers with sticks. (JK! J ) Beating life-suckers with LOVE. [Guys, love is seriously the best form of revenge! Not only do you come out feeling clean, but THEY feel like JERKS!]

Another epiphany. Is there someone you’re mad at? If you are, please let it go. Because unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that anger hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. Be the bigger person if only to save yourself from the trauma. J

Spent a large portion of my day TRYING to apply to Forest Home for a summer job… I was giddy with excitement the entire time!!! Deb and Morgan were laughing at me J Too bad Forest Home doesn’t like African Internet. FAIL. Must try again soon!

-Olivia thinks I am going to be Miss America.

-Clive (Intercomm prof) thinks I am Pocahontas because I wore the leather headband across my forehead.

-Deb thinks I belong in a Disney movie.

Yes, Yes, and YES!!!

PS: I am about to pee my pants with EXCITEMENT for my blog date with two of my favorite people of my entire life!!! 

Alpha Skype interview tomorrow!!!

Plus NO CLASS. ALL DAY. 

SHAZAAAAAAAM!