Tell Your Story.

March 5, 2011

Hey guys J

So I lost my alarm last night. I needed to take a shower QUTIE badly. What was I to do?! Debs was already asleep! SO obviously, the only answer I came up with was to leave a post it trail outside of Morgan’s room, telling her to wake me up J

Last night, however, epicness occurred. I woke up in a panic, thinking, “I CAN’T BREATHE!” So I sit up, throw something hard at Deb and say “DEB HELP ME!” She goes, “WHAT’S WRONG?!” It’s at this point I decide all I need is some water. So I drink some and fall back asleep.

Strangely, Debs does not remember this occurrence. It happened, I SWEAR. I was there J

My Post It trail was a complete SUCCESS!! Hurrah!!!

Taking a shower kind of sucked. My feet were BOTH super sore! But nevertheless, I prevailed! All was well!

Intercom final was super difficult. (Not.) I wanted to cry… until I realized I knew EVERY ANSWER. HA.

After killing that final, I Skyped Francesca and Danielle for a good long time and bawled my eyes out.

They helped me realize that I want to be ok with not being ok. And I need to ask for help.

I realized that I hate accepting things. Compliments, favors, deeds, gentlemen callers (JK), etc. So the fact that now I need people to help me with pretty much EVERYTHING sucks! PLUS. I feel like God rescuing me is a HUGE LIFE-AND-DEATH (LITERALLY!) favor. And I will NEVER be able to pay Him back.

SO how do I live in a way that glorifies Him? I have placed my identity in joy. But I don’t feel all that joyful at the moment. Grateful? YES. Joyful? I wish. But I think I am going to learn the difference between joy and happiness.

In talking to my lovelies this morning, I decided there are two ways to walk away from this:

1)    Be scared of everything. Hello, near death experience.

2)    Be scared of nothing. NOTHING, not even gravity, was able to rip me from God’s plans. So what have I to fear???!

But will I be able to choose a life of fearlessness? As much as I want to, it will be HARD. Like, super duper.

Zachariah cheered me up and taught me how to actually maneuver on my death traps (aka CRUTCHES.)

Had an awesome bonding time with Heather! SO excited to get to know her more!!! Love you, dear J

Heather and I helped PJ lead songs tonight for worship night! Woo! So fun! We did it bonfire style, out under the stars! What a win! It was such a beautiful time of pure thankfulness and enjoyment and freedom and rest.

Being a gimp and all, I have been carried by Zach, PJ, and Mackenzie today. Heather says this is the process of accepting unconditional love. I’m working on it. Thanks, guys!!!! Jesus will bless you in your kindness!!!

Lindsay came by tonight. THANKS FOR LISTENING!!! She is so beautiful. I am blessed to have her in my life!!! My new favorite phrase, courtesy of Lindsay: Tell your story. 

Because I have one now. 

I am super tired and looking forward to a skype date with Demaree tomorrow!!!!

Goodnight, moon.