May 1, 2011
Today was the LAST day at BI!
I woke up at 8:00… I couldn’t sleep in!
I took the opportunity to finish 2 Samuel. It was kind of depressing. But it really opened my eyes to this statement:
God is as merciful as He is strong.
Which is awe-some.
Today was a hard day for me.
I think a million emotions are just bubbling inside of me, looking for the right time to burst. Actually… bubbles are not the right sentiment here. More like a VOLCANO.
I had a really hard time today with insecurities and other fun shtuff in the same category. Bleh.
We went to our lovely home stay at 11:00 for a last lunch. It was quite nice.
When we left at 4:00 PM and boarded the bus to return to BI, I had a flashback to four months ago. It was 4:00 AM. My family waved out the window and I sat on the left side of the bus, nearest the aisle. I was about three or four rows back. The exact same thing happened today. The only differences: It was 4:00 PM, not AM, and I was waving goodbye to a different family.
This made me miss mine horrifically.
And THAT made me mad. Because now I am wishing to be home, and not appreciating being here in Africa. I LOVE AFRICA! I honestly do!!!
But I feel like this WHOLE four months, I have been FIGHTING. I have been fighting to gain confidence. I have been fighting to grow closer to God. I have been fighting to learn about who I am. And these are AMAZING THINGS! I am SO glad to have endeavored into these lessons!
But I have grown weary. I am tired of fighting. I am ready to go to a place where people know me completely and love me for who I am. I am ready to see those beautiful faces belonging to my family. I feel like it’s time.
But, it’s not. Because I am BLESSED enough to have an extra week. And I want to be excited for that! I’m sure I will be! But it’s kind of hard right now, with everyone talking about seeing their family in a few days!!!
And… It’s going to be sad to not spend my birthday with my loves…(Speaking of. I have 8 days to do something wild and crazy and not get seriously punished! WOOOO!! What to do, what to do…)
We have officially arrived at the Lady Hamilton.
The people in my house got in trouble for something that I wasn’t apart of… and it turned out to be no big deal, but it was a fright!
We went to dinner at the Bazaar. I love it there! I feel like I’m traveling just by eating there! J
Then, surprise surprise, Karissa and I had a life-changing conversation and a kick-butt prayer session. I LOVE THESE TIMES!!!
Karissa told me that I have a God-given gift of conversation. That I know EXACTLY the right questions to ask about what God has been working on in their hearts. And God prepares them for me, so they feel safe sharing.
I have always enjoyed deep conversation. But I had kind of never put two and two together that it was God-given. I LOVE IT!!! So blessed.
Sigh. I am hanging in. But I want to be doing more than that.
Prayer, prayer, prayer PLEASE.
Love to you.