Our Eyes Are on You

March 27, 2011

I am not generally a very emotional person. I’m really not. I would like to think that I am quite level headed and control my feelings quite well.

But OH BOY. I can feel the emotions RISING!!! It is going to be SO STINKING HARD TO LEAVE. I have never felt so attached to a place before, including my home. (Nothing you did, Mom and Dad.)

This morning at breakfast, I was talking to a visitor. When he found out I was studying Zulu, he said, “How are you going to keep that up in America?” I said, “Oh, no worries, I’m going to skype home and practice with my Zulu teacher or the awesome workers here.” Did you catch that? I’m going to skype “home.” WHAT IS WITH ME?!

This is getting ridiculous. I thought about leaving AE in 12 days (for Cape Town) and almost started crying. “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, WOMAN!!!”

Because I’m going to church tonight, I stayed home this morning to work on my loads of homework. Hurrah. Finished my paper and journals for Community Engagement. Woot.

I watched some of Bourne Identity today. It was super intense!!! But OHMYGOODNESS the weather was BEAUTIFUL today! There was a mist so thick, it appeared as though you could touch it. I wanted to film a movie. My imagination was going WILD! So I left the Bourne Identity because I couldn’t miss out on the mist and I read my bible with a cup of tea in the African mist. EPIC. Had a random but sweet chat with Zachariah.

Then we went to North Hills because Reg was speaking on pain, and how God can allow it to occur in the world.

It was beautiful. I was so inspired! The main point of the sermon was that God uses pain and brokenness to bring us closer to him. Best quote EVER:

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscious, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” –C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain.

I had two favorite points:

-    Death wasn’t a big deal to Jesus because He knew the bigger picture. In the same way, we need to trust that there is a script of life. And we know the last act. We also know how the story ends. And the scriptwriter is our Father.

-    Reg often flies to Cape Town. It is a very turbulent flight, and Reg HATES turbulence. So what keeps him on the plane?

“I stay on the plane when there’s turbulence because I trust the pilot and I know the destination.” (Hope you liked that one, Dad!)

Tyler and I wrote another song tonight!

Our Eyes Are on You

VERSE

What once fulfilled

Has lost its brilliance

Without you

The reality of this life

Cannot be denied

My world has lost its color

My surroundings are dull and insufficient

I miss the world you have given

CHORUS

And all around

The earth is spinning

And here and now

Our grip is slipping

We don’t know what to do

But our eyes are on you

VERSE

Blinded of color

I cannot find direction

I search hopelessly

Like a child in the dark

Waiting for the moment

You recolor my world

BRIDGE

Directionless

I run

Trying to find

An imagined destination

I miss your guiding voice

Calling me to a life of color

Give me your eyes

To see the beauty you have created,

Vibrant and colorful

Full of life

AH. I’m so excited. Ethembeni tomorrow. I am going to be SO DEPRESSED when we leave on Thursday. Oy vey. 

This is Home.

March 26, 2011

A man was walking up and down a beach. There were hundreds of starfish littering the shore. As he would come upon a starfish, he would toss it into the sea. A passerby laughed at this man and asked, “What are you doing? You will never be able to throw each starfish back into the ocean! What you’re doing can’t possibly matter!”

The man was silent for a while before replying, “It matters to this one.”

I have been reminded of this story twice in the last week! Once by the lovely Karissa, and the other by wonderful Jenn. God has been speaking to me in twos—I think He really wanted to remind me of this.

Just because I can’t help all of Mpophomeni doesn’t mean I can’t touch the lives of one or two or three. And it matters to them, because they matter to God. And maybe that’s my purpose here. To spread light and love to just one person. If I can make someone smile for just a moment, I have succeeded by the grace of God.

This morning, I was reading Hosea. SUCH a HUGE reminder to keep God first! And I also learned that God is SO amazingly LOVING. He punishes out of love. He wants His children to learn discipline so they can better serve Him.

Today, Leizel took Morgan and me to Durban to go to the markets, because I wasn’t able to go a few weeks back due to my crutch-ing situation. I was BLOWN AWAY by this act of kindness! Durban isn’t close! It’s a TWO HOUR drive! Leizel doesn’t even work at AE. She just volunteered seriously out of the goodness of her heart. I love her so much. It’s ridiculous! She has made such an impact on me. She is so wise and loving! The Lord has used her immensely in my life. I don’t know how I would have begun the emotional healing process after falling off the waterfall without her. (I know I always come back to the waterfall. But honestly, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. And I know that shows how INCREDIBLY blessed I am, I truly do! But it was a big deal in my life. And I don’t think it will ever not be a big deal. And I don’t want it to lose its significance. Every time I think about it, I am reminded of the glory of GOD. Every time my ankle hurts, I think about God’s love and how BLESSED I am. It’s a call to action. This experience will always be like a handprint on my heart. When you are literally saved by God, you don’t easily forget it. And if I ever do? I know have some lovely scars that serve as reminders. And I am so glad.)

I skyped Danielle tonight!! I LOVE YOU!!! We are moving to Africa after we graduate college. It’s going to be GREAT!!! (We are also going to get tattoos together when I get back. ;) [Half kidding, Mom!]

I have to share something she said. “Hey, Renna, did you ever think that maybe your whole entire life was preparing you to teach little African children about Jesus through theatre?”

!!!!! IF IT WAS, I WOULD BE SO EXCITED!!! Because if it was, I would truly be fulfilling my purpose… RIGHT NOW. And it would make every heartbreak worth it, you know?? AH. SO GOOD.

Favorite Danielle quote of the day: "Reading your blog is like reading a devotional!" HURRAH! Life goal accomplished.

FRANCESCA BREAK A LEG!!!! LOVE YOU, YOU LITTLE GYPSY!!! Wish I could be there supporting you!!!

Got to hang out with Heather for a bit. Love you, girl!

And I completely procrastinated from doing my two page paper, my journal entries, AND studying for my Zulu final. Good.

Something I realized yesterday and was IN MY FACE all day?

I don’t want to go back to America. That is no reflection of you, lovely reader. I am in love with these people. I am in love with this history. I am in love with this land. I am in love with the way God works and moves here. I am in love with the freedom and the abounding life. This is the place where I truly met God. How can I possibly leave?

When we returned from Durban, I was walking towards my chalet, and happened to stop and just look. The words on my heart:

This is home.

I had a dream last night that I was talking to my mom. I was telling her, “Mom, I LOVE Africa so much! I miss it!”

She said, “You need to live in South Africa. It’s where you belong.”

Could this have been prophetic?

I’m going to hope for yes. Why not?

After all,

This is home.

Mosaic

March 25, 2011: PART TWO

I spent a huge part of my day working with mosaics at Ethembeni.

Tonight in D group, I realized something. We are mosaics.

We start out as a glass figure of some sort, carved by our own agendas, issues, and limited understanding.

Then a time comes when the Lord decides to break you. He smashes apart all of your pre-conceived notions, your misconceptions, and the identity given to you by the world.

But it is here that the Lord takes the pieces that are worthwhile and molds,, shapes, and places them to create something new, and something more beautiful. The work now reflects the craftsman and is much more beautiful than before.    

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then death is at work in us, but life is at work in you…

Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly, we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

-2 Corinthians 4:6-18

We are fighting an unseen battle. When I’m discouraged, I will remind myself that. Because even though OUTWARDLY, we are wasting away, we are being renewed day by day.

Satan thinks he is winning by attacking the physical body. But what chance does a body stand against the spirit when God commands the spirit?

Today, I was completely broken. It’s one thing to hear about the problems Africa faces. It is quite another to fall in love with African children and see how they are directly impacted by these problems.

How can I possibly help these children? All I can do is let them play with my hair, hold them, perform cheesy skits, and give one of them a sweatshirt.

How does that really help?

Something that is amazingly comforting is just knowing that all I have to do is be open to what God is doing, and He will work through me. There is nothing I have to do but volunteer to be the chess piece God uses in a particular time and place. I am the vessel, and He is the miracle.

I couldn’t believe how joyful they are. They have literally NOTHING. And yet, they praise God. Tonight in D group, Liana reminded me that, “Blessed are the poor.” NEVER has that been so true. They are blessed because when they are given ANYTHING, they are JOYFUL and THANKFUL.

Having material items does NOT make us blessed. It makes us blind. We are blinded by physical things! Africa has faith because they have NOTHING else! But how would you rather be?! The LORD provides for them! And they are close to the LORD because they are reliant upon Him!

I am not saying it’s a curse to have things. It’s not. But, too much of anything is negative, hey? I believe it is my calling to bless others. Where much is given, much is required.

Liana was just a fountain of wisdom tonight. One of my favorite things she said was, “You’ll never see change in yourself until you stop looking at yourself and start staring at Jesus.”

It’s hard not to stop and question, “How am I changed? What’s different?”

And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

But how much more change could be occurring if you don’t get in the way of God’s plans by examining yourself?

Not only am I staring at God. I am chasing after him.

Today God smashed me into a thousand pieces. He is busy designing and creating my mosaic. I am hoping when He is done, the mosaic will not look like me. I am hoping it will be a reflection of the craftsman.

Set the World on Fire

March 25, 2011

There is a FIRE in my soul. I feel it burning. I NEED to change the world. However small or big! I feel so empowered and inspired! My heart is seriously going to BURST! I cannot sit and wait! I cannot sit in fear! There is so much LIFE to be lived! And I want to be the one living it! I am seriously genuinely ECSTATIC for the plans God has. I want to be apart of them. And I will sacrifice EVERYTHING for His will.

Lord, Please direct me. Show me what to do. Equip me. Lead me. Open my eyes to see where you would have me go.

SET THE WORLD ON FIRE

I want to set the world on fire

Until it’s burning bright for you

It’s everything that I desire

Can I be the one you use?

I am small, but

You are big enough

I am weak, but

You are strong enough

To take my dreams

Come on and give them wings

Lord with you

There’s nothing I can’t do

There’s nothing I can’t do

I want to feed the hungry children

And reach across the farthest land

I want to tell the broken there is healing

Mercy in the Father’s hand

I am small, but

You are big enough

I am weak, but

You are strong enough

I finished “The Faithful Abangane,” or “The Faithful Friends,” which is about Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendigo. We are planning to perform that on Monday.

There is a beautiful girl here named Nomjabulo (Happiness). We were talking to her yesterday. She confided that, more than anything, she wants to be an actress. She spends her time watching movies, but she has never been given the chance to act because there are no theatres or theatre programs in Mpophomeni. I hope the drama program can be continued after we leave, if for no other reason than giving her the chance to do what she loves. I am going to try to have her be in next week’s skit!

David and Goliath went very well! The theatre major in me wishes it could have been a bit more rehearsed, but overall, it was great. Thanks, Ethembeni team! I love you dearly!!! Awesome job!!!

David and Goliath

Narrator: Once upon a time, a LOOOONG TIME AGO, there lived a small, young boy named David.

David: Hi! I’m David.

Narrator: David was a Sheppard. He had many sheep. (Get volunteers!) All day, he took care of his sheep.

The kids are sheep and are on all fours, eating grass.

One day, his sheep were grazing in the grass, and suddenly, out of nowhere, pounced a LION!

 Lion jumps in and roars, and attacks a lamb.

David: That is MY sheep, sir lion! NO YOU DON’T!

David and Lion have a karate battle with plenty of “Hiiiiii YA!”’s. Finally, the lion is defeated and scampers away.

Injured lamb: David! How did you do that?! I thought the lion was going to eat you!

David: The Lord is my strength. He will always protect me because He is with me wherever I go!

Narrator: (Goliath picks a kid to be the top of his head.) Although David could fight his enemies, FAR AWAY, Israel’s army couldn’t fight their enemies! There was a HUGE GIANT named Goliath. Every day, the Israelite army would run away whenever Goliath would come out.

Goliath: Who is brave enough to fight me?

The army looks at each other… and yells, “AHHHHHHH!” and runs away. They huddle together in the corner.

Narrator: When David heard about the mean giant, he marched up to the army.

David: I will fight this giant!

The army looks at each other for a moment—and then bursts out laughing.

Soldier: You’re too small!

Soldier: Goliath will eat you for lunch!

David: Make fun of me all you want. I am not afraid! The Lord will be with me. Just as He has helped me fight lions, He will help me fight this giant.

Soldier: Here, take my sword!

With colossal effort, David attempts to take the sword from the soldier.

Narrator: David tried with all of his might, but he could not pick up the sword!

David drops the sword.

David: Ahh! This sword is too heavy! I will never win if I use this!

Soldier: So what are you going to do?

David: Hmmm…. I know! I’ll use a slingshot.

Army: A SLINGSHOT?!

Soldier: David, you can’t possibly beat a GIANT with a SLINGSHOT!

Army: A SLINGSHOT!

David: Just like I said before, the LORD-

Army: We know, we know! The LORD will protect you!

Narrator: So even though the army thought he was CRAZY, David took three stones and a slingshot out to battle. This time, when Goliath came out, the Israelites were ready.

Goliath: Who is brave enough to fight me?

David: I am!

Goliath: Who are you?!

David: David!

Goliath: They sent a mouse to fight a giant?

David: I will fight you in the name of the Lord!

Goliath: Engarde!

They jump into ninja positions. In slow motion, Goliath tries charge at David, but David loads his slingshot and FIRES! Slow motion, Goliath is hit in the head and falls over.

Narrator: David did it! With God’s help, David hit Goliath in the head with a stone. Against all odds, the smallest beat the biggest.

Army: Hooray!!

The army cheers.

Narrator: Because David beat Goliath, David became king!

David gets a crown.

David was able to beat the giant because he put his FAITH and TRUST in God. When you trust God, He will never let you down. It doesn’t matter where you come from, it doesn’t matter how small you are, it doesn’t matter what has happened in your past. God will help you to reach whatever dreams and goals you have in your life, so you don’t have to be afraid. Just like David said, “The Lord is with me wherever I go.” Say that with me: “The Lord is with me wherever I go.” And if God is with you, what do you have to be afraid of? So be brave like David!

Wabulani berrrray

Waubulani gonyama

Nawe Goliati uyafa namhlanje.  

Wabulani berrrray

Waubulani gonyama

Nawe Goliati uyafa namhlanje

Wabulani berrrray

Waubulani gonyama

Nawe Goliati uyafa namhlanje. 

After the skit we went to go play net ball again. I played with five random girls who weren’t with Ethembeni. They were all about 11 years old. They were obsessed with my hair! We stopped playing net ball just so they could play with it J. After knowing them for about four seconds, I was already in love with them. They just want to be cared about. About 10 girls just crowded around Karissa and me and had fun with our hair. The two blondes!

They LOVE to sing! And what do I sing EVERY DAY of my life? High School Musical and Camp Rock. You go, Disney! Even in SOUTH AFRICA, they know the music. Whoa, man, whoa. I keep thinking, maybe THIS is why I did high school musical way back when! Seriously, God was educating me and preparing me for these girls J.

I had beautiful talks with Kayla and Heather today.

Last night, Tyler and I came up with this song. I wrote the lyrics, and he composed the music. It was super exciting, because he had written the song years ago, but had never put words to it. As I was listening to him play, the word that popped into my head was desert. I was reading through Psalms. I turned the page, and BAM! There was the word “desert!” WHAT!? So I read the passage and it fit perfectly with what he was playing. AH. Praise Jesus. So here are the lyrics completely inspired by Psalm 55:

Listen

(PS: Psalm 55)

Listen, oh Listen

Do you hear me now?

Listen, oh Listen

Hear and answer, I am calling you

My thoughts are troubled

With voices not my own

I’m afraid and alone

On this long and winding road

But I call to you

And you say you hear

But I call to you

And you say you listen

But I call to you

And you say you will answer

So are you listening?

Oh, that I had wings of a dove

I would fly away

Yeah, I’d fly far away

And stay in the desert

Far away from the tempest and storm

Listen, oh Listen

Do you hear me now?

Listen, oh Listen

Hear and answer, I am calling you

I gave Smangile my favorite APU sweatshirt today. She was cold, and her jacket was super thin with lots of holes. I hope she enjoys it! Even though I love that sweatshirt, the smile on her face made it so worth it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat J.

Treasure Chest

March 24, 2011

WHAT. A. DAY.

This was the slowest and fastest day ever. How that happens, I have no idea.

I finished reading through the book of Daniel this morning. Hurrah!

Reg drove us to Ethembeni today, and so I decided to talk to him about the occurrences surrounding my intended “healings.” Seriously guys, people tried to heal me three times.

It was really nice to hear Reg say that he didn’t think I wasn’t healed because of a lack of faith, but rather, because God had another plan for my foot. He said he was proud of me for acknowledging God’s works, instead of being destroyed by the fact that there wasn’t an instantaneous healing. The man is so wise I can barely stand it. Such a blessing.

We were supposed to build a garden in Mpophomeni today, but somehow… that didn’t happen… that was slightly frustrating, just because I want to help out as much as I possibly can, and I didn’t bring my materials to write scripts or the guitar to write songs, so we were kind of out of ways to help. But I was able to take a 20 minute nap, which was AWESOME. I just fell asleep with my head on the table. I was out like dirty socks in the laundry.

Speaking of dirty… Remember how I traded watches with Smangile? Well, I dropped it in the toilet today. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I had to fish it out! And THEN I had to wash it because it WASN’T MINE!!!! AHHH!!! And after I THOROUGHLY sanitized it, it stopped working. Because watches don’t do well with water. Ahem. Gooooood one. NOT. Luckily, Ethembeni is the HOT SPOT for rice! So I stuck the watch in a bag with some rice. PLEASE, JESUS, LET IT BE FIXED!!!

Another, more exciting event: Hlaga took us all on a school visit! It was very exciting. All of the students wear uniforms. And everyone STARED. I was the only one in our group saying hi to every person I possibly could.

“Sanibona!”

And every time, they would say, “Hello.” WHY wouldn’t they answer me in Zulu?! I am knowledgeable in their great language! Come on, guys, give me a CHANCE! Every single person we passed STARED, I repeat! I am used to being stared at by casting directors and competitors, but it was a totally new experience to be stared at because I look different.

I got two marriage proposals today. One was uneventful and in passing. The other one was funny.

“Are you married?” This man at Ethembeni asks me.

“No, sir!”

“You will marry my friend.”

“Haha, OK.” Totally kidding.

“He is a pastor.”

“Oh cool! I’ve always wanted to marry a pastor!” I am SO witty!

“PERFECT! So, you give me your number.”

“What?!” I thought this was a joke! TOO witty!

“Yes, I need your number from here and from home so you two can stay in contact.”

“Well, um-”

“You like black men?”

Oh. Well. “Sure…?”

“Good. You won’t back out on me now. This is good.”

Oops.

Today included super great team bonding. I had a lovely talk with Aimee today. She is so great! She reminded me of two important things:

1)    I need to run to God FIRST in everything. People are awesome. But,

2)    People can’t understand the way God understands. People can help you through trouble, but God literally carries your troubles for you.

BOTH Walk in the Light and Ithemba (two other service sites) have done my skit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! I AM SO HAPPY AND HONORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, Jesus J

Tyler and I are planning on writing another song tonight. HURRAHH!! I have lost my voice for about a WEEK now, which is FRUSTRATING, so this song writing shenanagin is going to be interesting. But I am excited J

Something else I realized?

I am EXCITED for the next year of my life:

-SOUTH AFRICA!!!!

            I don’t want to leave. I would live here. I might.

-SUMMER!

            I am convinced it will be great.

-BIRTHDAY!

            Woo! Finally legal!!

-SUMMER BLAST!

            AH. I have been looking forward to that all year!

-WYOMING!

            Yay, Pryors and Nightingales! My soul is dancing!

-BRIDGES!

            I have heard it’s a for sure life-changer. As if I haven’t changed enough in the last two months. HA!

-ALPHA!

            I am convinced that God will do great things with that.

And HOPEFULLY:

-ROME!

            I recently applied and will find out if I will be studying abroad next spring.

Rich blessings abounding. Praise Him all the way Home. Literally. To South Africa, California, Rome, and everywhere else.

Deep, wise, awesome insight from Claire today:

Aimee, Claire and I were talking about the waterfall, because we were looking at my battle wounds (some bruises, scabs, and scars).

Aimee told her parents about my little incident and how Colton was clearing out rocks that morning.

“I am more in awe of God every time I think about it. The best part of it is that it has NOTHING to do with me. It has “God” written ALL over it.” I say.

Claire says, “No, Renna. You fell, therefore enabling God to be glorified. Had you not climbed that waterfall, God would not have been able to use your new story the way that He wants to.”

EPIC. To me, at least J

This day has been beautiful. Not because of anything big, but because there were a million small sparkling jewels that added up to a glorious treasure chest of a day. 

For Such a Time as This

March 23, 2011

Hi.

So this morning, I woke up at 6 to skype Francesca only to find… THERE IS NO INTERNET!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! SO sad. I miss this girl so stinking much, it’s not ok.

So I aimlessly wandered around our forsaken campus, searching high and low for a good internet connection! Alas, I was dismayed. Zachariah (he had to get up early for his service site) tried to help, with no avail. Boo.

And then… all morning I just felt super crappy. Headache. Cough. Achey. Cold. Hot. And the grand finale? I almost threw up three times. At Ethembeni, the staff wasn’t even going to be there today. PLUS I had a big Zulu test. All of these items added up to me NOT going to Ethembeni today. It was really weird, because I never skip out on things (besides high school. Yeah, I never really went to school.) because I believe in dependability, responsibility, and follow through. But today just seemed to be SCREAMING: “STAY HOME!!!”

PS: there are many people here who are severely homesick. That makes me so sad! I can’t imagine trying to thrive when you can only focus on America.

I think I am wired to travel. Although I miss many wonderful people, 21 choices and Disneyland, I don’t want to come home. I am here NOW. I have been called to South Africa for “such a time as this.” And I don’t want to waste a single moment wishing I am somewhere else. So, I feel amazingly blessed that God designed me for traveling, exploring, and growing in new environments.

I got to chase a monkey out of my room today. THAT was fun. I left the room for literally 30 seconds, came back and BAM, MONKEY IN MY FACE!!! I was the bigger monkey J

I got to have an awesome talk with Amanda. She provided a lot of really cool perspective. She’s a wise one! J She reminded me that I will NEVER get this time back. EVER. And I will spend the rest of my life wishing I had this time back. It is IMPERATIVE that I take every moment in. Live to love. I feel like I’ve been doing a good job so far. But still, it’s an excellent reminder.

Another excellent reminder? Life’s not about me. Seriously, it’s something good to keep in that head o’ yourn J

I studied my butt off for zulu! Gahh! This was an oral final, which is scary, because I’m visual. Auditory stuff is not so positive…

But by the time I went in, at 7:40 PM, I WAS READY.

My goal? To add as much personality as humanly possible and smile TONS so my professor would be blinded enough by my sparkling disposition to NOT notice my mistakes! Crafty, eh?

My plan worked well! I only missed 1 ½ points out of 90!

Those one and a half suckers came from one ill-fated answer.

In Zulu of course, she asked me, “What do you like to eat?”

“Witch doctors,” I haughtily reply.

I MEANT to say MEAT! Oops. FAIL. Oh well. If I was going to get points off, THAT is the way I would have wanted to do it. So, success J

The stars are beautiful tonight. So here I sit, writing my blog beneath them. Hurrah.

As I sit, I am reminded of the Lord’s goodness. His strength is sweet and His hope is full.

And that’s all I need.

SO here I am, for such a time as this, in South Africa, perfectly content with glittering stars and my Jesus.

Life. Is. GOOD.

I Would Catch a Grenade for You

March 22, 2011

“I would catch a grenade for you.” Debs sings.

I know this one!!! Hurrah!!!

She continues, “Put my head on a plate for you!”

“WHAT?!”

She replies, “Yes, Renna. That’s how it goes.”

Um. EW. Who would listen to a song about decapitation in love? No, thank you!!!

But I was all, “Ok. Sure. PUT MY HEAD ON A PLATE FOR YOUUU!!!”

So this morning at Ethembeni, I was singing this song. When I sang that oh so great line, Shayna stops and says, “WHAT?!”

“Yeah. That’s the line, Shayna.”

“Renna. It’s definitely ‘Put my hand on a blade for you.’”

“Are you serious?! Oh. Well. I guess that makes more sense.”

But I think we’ll never know for suresies. What do YOU think it is??? Oh, Bruno, you perplex me!

I was still confused as to why the song was so graphically violent, so Shayna had to explain to me, “He would literally die for her, but she just doesn’t feel the same way. So sad.”

My only comment: “Unrequited love SUCKS, man.” Wow. “Unrequited” and “sucks” in the same sentence. Cough, cough. (But really, I am still coughing.)

My theme song of the day: “Ngiyahamba, hamba!” I know you are fluent in this great language, but here is a translation, just in case. “I’m walking, walking!” Today is my first day at my service site without a boot OR crutches! I am in awe that ALL of the staff is being so encouraging and lovely! I feel so loved. True community, right here. True community is not based on similarities or even common language. True community is about LOVE.

All you need is love. How did I come up with that genius?! J

Announcement for Mom and future husband, as well as my future roommates! Londi taught me how to chop carrots today! WOOOHOOO!!! Talk about life skills! First step carrots, next step Crème Brulee! So positive! I only cut myself twice. And you can’t even tell. Just a bit of a nail, and a cut that looks like it is of the paper variety. I’d say it was successful J

Then Londi and I worked on two skits: David and Goliath, and Shadrack, Mishach, and Abendigo. It’s awesome to write with a Zulu perspective! Super interesting.

Then I had a good talk with Tyler. Woot!

After lunch, Aunty Semke, my social worker, took me on a home visit. It. Was. HOT. And ALL uphill! It was a challenge, but super positive to work out my ankle.

On our way, a man stopped us. His eyes looked wild. My people alarm went off. I kept walking.

“Sawubona!” He yells at me. I ignore him and keep walking, as does Aunty Semke.

“I said, sawubona!” This time, more forceful.

“Sawubona.” I reply without stopping.

“Eyy, why you gotta do that? Why you gotta be so beautiful? EY, you. I wanna marry you.”

I look at him with an “EXCUSE ME?!” look.

“Yeah, girl, that’s right. You wanna marry me? Don’t walk away from me now.”

All I can manage is “Cha. Ngiyabonga.” No. Thanks.

Cue ESCAPE!!! I asked Aunty Samke if random marriage proposals are normal. Nope. They’re not. Good to know.

When we finally reached the home, the first thing I noticed was it smelled. The woman was nice, but not very receptive to me. I could tell she was very uncomfortable with me. Aunty Samke told me this woman’s eyes hurt. She was going to the doctor tomorrow and was very frightened of what the doctor would say. After they talked for a long time in Zulu, Aunty Samke asked me to pray for the woman. I was so happy to! I feel like the Lord placed things on my heart that I was supposed to pray for, which was super cool.

This house was so empty. The floor was rotten and peeling. The furniture was so completely worn and slightly gross. It was SO hot. And yet, you could tell this woman took pride in keeping her home clean.

This home visit wasn’t mind-blowing; it was eye-opening.

When we got back to Ethembeni (SORE ANKLE!), my friend Smangile ran up to me, and noticed how now we both had watches. “Can we trade?!” She was so excited! “Sure!” I take her watch and she takes mine. Her smile is priceless. In fact, so priceless indeed, that I let her keep it. I have her watch right now, but I am going to give it back and hopefully convince her to keep my pink one. She enjoys it way more than I ever could. And plus, I just want to do something nice for her. I love her.

Karissa started an art program today. She had the kids fold a piece of paper into four squares. In the first square, Karissa said, “Draw something that made you happy.” Time passed. It was a simple exercise without meaning. For the next square, she said, “Draw something that made you sad.” Now the kids began drawing coffins, graveyards, and tears. Thirdly, “Draw something that made you feel scared.” Most every child drew people shooting or stabbing each other. Finally, “Draw somewhere that made you feel safe.” When they were done, they were able to share with people if they wanted to.

I had two girls come up to me.

To the first, I said, “Tell me about when you felt scared.”

Pointing to the picture, “These are boys I know. They were friends. But then they got in a fight. And one shot the other.”

“Is he alright?”

“No. He’s dead.”

What do you say to that?

I asked the next girl, who was a high schooler, to tell me about when she was sad, pointed to her drawing and said, “It makes me sad when mean people do bad things to innocent people.” The picture was of a dead person with lots of blood.

“Does this happen very often?” I asked her.

“Yes. All the time.”

These children have grown up surrounded by corruption. And so have I, and so have you. But it just hit me so hard. I have never had to fear for my life as I watch a knife fight. I have never seen one of my friends be shot by another friend. These children have so little, and yet have seen so much. They know and feel more than I ever will.

In a way, their world has been shattered by a grenade. A grenade of HIV and AIDS and violence and death and abandonment.

I am just so utterly humbled and in awe that the Lord has the power, will, and might to catch that grenade for these children.

Some lyrics I loved:

What if your blessings come through raindrops?

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?

What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

Take heart in times of trial. Find blessing in the rain. Allow tears to heal. And you will find God when you are too tired to fight and run away.

Cuz, hey. He would catch a grenade for you. 

Ay Yi Yi!

March 21, 2011

CLASS ALL DAY!!!

Ugh. I don’t ever get stomach cramps. But today? HELLO, knife SLICING my tummy in HALF! OW! WHAT IS THIS?!

Ay yi yi! No bueno for Renna.

On the mall run today, I FINALLY got a watch! Hurrah! It’s hot pink and doesn’t work that well. But it’s pink and has numbers, so it doesn’t really matter!

After dinner, we had a meeting. It was ugly. I did not like it at all. We were forced to talk about our issues. Meh. I have hope for it to turn into positive results… But. Yuck. It made me angry L I don’t like being angry! It is a rarity!

EH. Then I went for a walk. Which was positive.

Had a great but accidental talk with Zachariah. It made me feel so much better about the community mess!

I spent some time in the prayer chapel, and headed off to sleep, getting ready for a new day. 

Field Trip Day 2

March 20, 2011

Not too much to report. More tours… It was fun!

Sat with Sophia on the bus, which was positive.

However, I DID have the best ice cream of my LIFE from a gas station! What?! It was about 20 cents. SCORE.

I am exhausted! Off to sleep! 

Field Trip Day (Thermo-Nuclear) UNO

March 19, 2011

FIELD TRIP!!!

TODAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I TOOK OFF MY BOOT!!! I WALKED LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!

I have seriously NEVER been SO COMPLETELY grateful to walk in my life! Ok. Lesson time.

I am honestly so thankful I injured my foot. “WHAT?!” you may ask. Yes, ma’am. God taught me so much that I would have been oblivious to without this occurrence.

I believe I now have a better understanding of those who must rely on others for survival. Although I could maneuver quite well on one foot, there are simply things I cannot do. For example, I cannot carry my own plate. It just doesn’t work out. From this example, I learned much about service. Many people would leap at the chance to help me, without me even having to ask. Others still would watch me struggle and wouldn’t help unless I specifically asked. I realized how much I want to be like the first option. It really means so much. Also, a positive attitude and smile goes so far. Guess what? People who need help most likely feel guilty asking for help. Don’t make it worse! I also learned a lot about dependence on the Lord. He gave me strength when I was tired and comfort when I was frustrated. For these lessons I am completely grateful! Even now, it hurts to walk. But I don’t mind. It’s a reminder of how blessed I am and how thankful I am to have two working feet! It’s so much better than a shoe fast J

Back to the field trip! A huge part of this trip was the bus. I had the best bus buddy ever! I love you, Morgan! Perfect blend of fun and deep. She’s great J

We watched Remember the Titans on the bus. Ok. I forgot how EPIC that movie is!! It made me want to watch football! (That’s like, a COLOSSAL deal.)

We made a pit stop at a gas station that looked exactly like Utah… Hey, Nightingale/ Pryors! I am getting so stoked for Wyoming! There are many similarities geographically between Wyoming and South Africa… not even kidding. It sounds crazy. But it’s TRUE!

Our main day stop was at a battlefield. We were warned of the “Puffer” I believe? It is one of Africa’s deadliest snakes. Apparently the venom burns off your skin. NICE. Luckily, no one was de-skinned today! J

After the tour we headed to a hotel. This was the CUTEST ever! I loved it! The highlights of our hotel stay were

1)    Dinner. Magnifique! So awesome to have a legit meal. Plus, I got to sit with Kayla and Miranda and we had some Jesus talk, so of course it was positive.

2)    THERMO-NUCLEAR UNO! Zachariah, Mary-Bette, Matt, Bethany, John, Melinda, Shayna, and I played some HARDCORE Uno. It was epic. I loved it.

I got to room with Carmen. She is so great! It was nice to room with her, because I haven’t had the opportunity to get to know her as well as I’d like to.

I’m ready for day 2!

You Are All I Need (in the Ark and at Tea Parties)

March 18, 2011

Happy FRIDAY!!!

This morning was spent sanding and painting cupboards at Ethembeni with Tyler, Karissa, Shayna, and Lindsay. The best part? We used that time to share life stories. Hello, bonding! I love hearing people’s stories. It makes my heart happy to understand why they are the way they are, and it helps me to see how I can love them in the way that they need.

In the afternoon, with MUCH anticipation, we performed our skit! I was SO EXCITED!!! HERE it is, ladies and gentlemen:

Noah’s Ark:

Narrator: Once upon a time, THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of years ago, God was very sad. He was sad because his people were being mean to each other.

A: “Hey, that’s MY lollipop”

Noah: “Did you steal her lollipop?!”

C: “NO!” (hiding object behind back)

Fighting. Noah tries to keep them apart.

God: “Why are my children so bad?!”

Freeze.

Narrator: So God thought of a way to fix his problem. He decided to send a HUGE rainstorm that would flood the whole earth! But FIRST, God had to find a man who was good enough to help him save the world from sadness and badness.

God: Is there just one man who has a good heart?

Narrator: So God went about searching for just the right man for the job.

AAAAAAND NOW, presenting all of the possible winners (eligible bachelors) who can help God in His quest!

All except God and Narrator stand in a line, trying to be chosen. They actively show why they think they should be chosen.

A: Pick me; I’m pretty!

B: NO, pick ME, I’m strong!

C: I’m a good dancer! Pick ME!

They all fight for God’s attention. Noah stands there humbly. Maybe he is praying.

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, now is the time to vote for who YOU think should help God save the world! Cheer for your favorite person!

God puts his hand over the contestants one by one. After MUCH anticipation,

God: Noah, I choose you!

Contestants: AWWWW.

Noah: Me, God?!

God: Yes, Noah! You are pure of heart, and you love me! CONGRATULATIONS!

Noah: Thanks, God!

God: Alright, now we’ve got a lot of work to do! I want you to build me a huge ark. When it is built, I want you to find TWO of each and every animal and put them in the ark. When your entire family and all of the animals are inside the ark, I will make it rain for MANY days and MANY nights. Can you do this for me, Noah?

Noah: Yes, sir!

They put their hands in, team style.

God and Noah: GO, TEAM, GO!

-Either we all become pieces of the ark, and then shuffle outside

-Or make the playground the ark.

-OR USE SOME KIDS AS WOOD

Narrator: Noah worked very hard to build the ark. Finally, he was DONE! It was time for the ANIMALS.

NOW we need some volunteers! I need two lions, two zebras, two birds, two elephants, two frogs, and two goats. Line up!

And two by two, ALL of the animals marched into the ark.

Wherever the ark is.

Narrator: Then, just like God said, the rain came!

Spray water.

Narrator: Ok, now we need your help to make the rain! Follow us!

We help them in making rain.

We walk across the stage with paper. The rain keeps going.

A: One day later

B: One week later

C: One month later.

D: 40 DAYS LATER:

Narrator: Finally, on the 40^th day, the RAIN STOPPED!

The kids stop making the rain.

Narrator: After a LONG time of waiting, they heard a BIG THUNK. The ark had hit a MOUNTAIN! Finally, Noah, his family, and the animals could leave the ark.

God was very happy.

God: good job, Noah! High five.

Narrator: The earth started all over and God promised He would never flood the earth again. To show proof of this, God made a rainbow.

Because everyone was so happy, they decided to sing a song!

Noah built the ark song

Who built the ark?

Noah, Noah

Who built the ark?

Brother Noah built the ark

Who built the ark?

Noah, Noah

Who built the ark?

Brother Noah built the ark

Who sent the rain?

God did, God did!

Who sent the rain?

Father God sent the rain

Who sent the rain?

God did, God did!

Who sent the rain?

Father God sent the rain

What filled the sky?

A rainbow, rainbow

What filled the sky?

A rainbow filled the sky

What filled the sky?

A rainbow, rainbow

What filled the sky?

A rainbow filled the sky

Because Noah was obedient, and did what God told him to do, God promised he would never flood the earth again. So every time we see a rainbow, we can remember that God loves us.

THE END!!!!

It was SO SUCCESSFUL! THEY LOVED IT! I could not have been more pleased. THIS is what I want to do with my LIFE, guys. SO positive!

Right after, we jumped in Claire’s truck (I got a seat because I am still in a boot for my ankle) and jostled down the bumpy road to her house in Howick for a tea party!!!

I cannot describe the JOY it brings to me to be in a HOUSE. And Claire’s is SO CUTE! I could not contain myself. That is EXACTLY what I am going to make my house look like! For suresies.

Ok. Claire is just all around talented. I think she can literally do EVERYTHING. Because JUST when I thought she had run out of things to be GREAT at, she cooked for us. Um. WOW. SO DELICOUS!!! Carrot cake, coffee cake, cupcakes, CHEESE BREAD ROLLS!!! (Oh my lanta.), and cute little sandwiches. It was heavenly.

Most of the Ethembeni staff came. I LOVE THEM!! It was so great to bond with them outside of work. God has blessed me SO much to know these people. When the Ethembeni guests left, we hung out with Claire for quite a while, having a grand time. It was complete, blissful fun. Just what we all needed J

On the way home, I had an epic talk with Claire. As we were driving, I realized, “I can do this. I can live here.” Literally, I would be fine.

God reminded me so much tonight that He is the only one I need. I don’t have to depend on anyone. He is always with me. Therefore, I can always be comfortable with myself and content with my situation, because THAT is where God is.

No Green on St. Patty's Day.

March 17, 2011

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!!!

There was literally no recognition of this holiday here, which leads me to believe there are not very many Irish immigrants in South Africa… I wasn’t hugely upset by this, because I didn’t have anything green to wear! Phew! Safe on that one!

Today at the service site, there was this tiny African baby. He never cried. I have seen him quite often. But I have never seen him cry. It’s not because he’s happy… he is always frowning and never laughing.

In class, Francis talked about the poorest of the poor. His friend went and visited orphanages. Instead of laughter, noise, and singing filling the air, there was nothing. The children were filled with silent sorrow. They don’t make noise because no one helps them when they express pain or sadness.

I saw this first hand in this baby, named Samthanda. He doesn’t cry because there is no one to hear him cry.  

That was heartbreaking. I played with him for a bit. He held onto my hands desperately. I don’t know what his home situation is like or who he lives with. But I can’t imagine it is healthy if he holds so tightly to me.

I am GOING to adopt an African child. There is no longer an option or a “maybe.”

Today, there was the annual Ethembeni meeting. The head honcho, Grant, asked us to “do something” for the meeting. We decided to sing our song, So Loved! I was so excited. When we played, the entire Ethembeni staff sang along! They enjoyed it! That pretty much made my day…

After the meeting, Grant came up to us and told us they were going to add it to their song repertoire!!!

Then, Hlaga, Tyler’s social worker, decided he was going to take us to the museum. The problem? We were walking, not driving.

“Is it a long walk?” I ask.

“No, it’s very short!” he assured me.

“Will I be able to make it?”

“Oh yes. We will go slow for you.”

So we start walking. And my arms are KILLING ME from my crutches! My foot is fine… I’m just going slower than everyone else. So I decide to one-crutch it, and use Shayna as a replacement crutch. She is quite a convenient height for arm-resting!

It was a lovely walk. Don’t get me wrong—it was HARD. There is NO uneven ground! I was afraid for my life many a time. But Mpophomeni is beautiful. I truly love it. The mountains look like they’re from Lord of the Rings! There was a super cool mist resting on those glorious mountains. There are people, goats, cows, and cars roaming the road leisurely. I have never seen anything like it. All of the children are in uniforms of maroon and white or navy and white. Most girls have their hair very short like a guy in order to “cut” (haha- hair humor!) down on hair maintenance.

Something else I’ve noticed about African culture? The people are either so quiet, they barely speak above a whisper and you can’t hear anything they say. Or, they are SO PREVALENTLY LOUD AND THEY DON’T CARE THAT YOU’RE RIGHT THERE AND YOUR EARS ARE BEGINNING TO BLEED!! There is not much of a balance. I like it though… you know, all or nothing type thing? J

When we FINALLY got the museum, we were quite dismayed to find that it was currently being DEMOLISHED. Like, they were chucking wood EVERYWHERE. I nearly was smacked in the head! WARNING SIGN!

To my somewhat (but not really) dismay, we decided to go to the library instead. “Come on, arms! YOU CAN DO IT!” We made it to the library. It was PACKED. All the kids were so excited about the books. It literally looked like the “cool” hang out.

Their book selection was not to be envied. The books were either of the Meg Cabot variety or textbooks. How are minds to be challenged and stimulated if there are no classics? I feel like they are grossly underestimating their children. Perhaps it is appropriate, as their English is not completely polished… but how will they grow if they are not challenged with great literature?

Back at the Family Centre:

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^The kids are super excited about my laptop. They left me the above message J.

Back at campus, we had Zulu. Hurrahh. It was the last night for the week. Wooo!!!

Tomorrow should be a good day. I would tell you about it, but… I’d rather keep you in suspense. :P