This is Home.

March 26, 2011

A man was walking up and down a beach. There were hundreds of starfish littering the shore. As he would come upon a starfish, he would toss it into the sea. A passerby laughed at this man and asked, “What are you doing? You will never be able to throw each starfish back into the ocean! What you’re doing can’t possibly matter!”

The man was silent for a while before replying, “It matters to this one.”

I have been reminded of this story twice in the last week! Once by the lovely Karissa, and the other by wonderful Jenn. God has been speaking to me in twos—I think He really wanted to remind me of this.

Just because I can’t help all of Mpophomeni doesn’t mean I can’t touch the lives of one or two or three. And it matters to them, because they matter to God. And maybe that’s my purpose here. To spread light and love to just one person. If I can make someone smile for just a moment, I have succeeded by the grace of God.

This morning, I was reading Hosea. SUCH a HUGE reminder to keep God first! And I also learned that God is SO amazingly LOVING. He punishes out of love. He wants His children to learn discipline so they can better serve Him.

Today, Leizel took Morgan and me to Durban to go to the markets, because I wasn’t able to go a few weeks back due to my crutch-ing situation. I was BLOWN AWAY by this act of kindness! Durban isn’t close! It’s a TWO HOUR drive! Leizel doesn’t even work at AE. She just volunteered seriously out of the goodness of her heart. I love her so much. It’s ridiculous! She has made such an impact on me. She is so wise and loving! The Lord has used her immensely in my life. I don’t know how I would have begun the emotional healing process after falling off the waterfall without her. (I know I always come back to the waterfall. But honestly, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. And I know that shows how INCREDIBLY blessed I am, I truly do! But it was a big deal in my life. And I don’t think it will ever not be a big deal. And I don’t want it to lose its significance. Every time I think about it, I am reminded of the glory of GOD. Every time my ankle hurts, I think about God’s love and how BLESSED I am. It’s a call to action. This experience will always be like a handprint on my heart. When you are literally saved by God, you don’t easily forget it. And if I ever do? I know have some lovely scars that serve as reminders. And I am so glad.)

I skyped Danielle tonight!! I LOVE YOU!!! We are moving to Africa after we graduate college. It’s going to be GREAT!!! (We are also going to get tattoos together when I get back. ;) [Half kidding, Mom!]

I have to share something she said. “Hey, Renna, did you ever think that maybe your whole entire life was preparing you to teach little African children about Jesus through theatre?”

!!!!! IF IT WAS, I WOULD BE SO EXCITED!!! Because if it was, I would truly be fulfilling my purpose… RIGHT NOW. And it would make every heartbreak worth it, you know?? AH. SO GOOD.

Favorite Danielle quote of the day: "Reading your blog is like reading a devotional!" HURRAH! Life goal accomplished.

FRANCESCA BREAK A LEG!!!! LOVE YOU, YOU LITTLE GYPSY!!! Wish I could be there supporting you!!!

Got to hang out with Heather for a bit. Love you, girl!

And I completely procrastinated from doing my two page paper, my journal entries, AND studying for my Zulu final. Good.

Something I realized yesterday and was IN MY FACE all day?

I don’t want to go back to America. That is no reflection of you, lovely reader. I am in love with these people. I am in love with this history. I am in love with this land. I am in love with the way God works and moves here. I am in love with the freedom and the abounding life. This is the place where I truly met God. How can I possibly leave?

When we returned from Durban, I was walking towards my chalet, and happened to stop and just look. The words on my heart:

This is home.

I had a dream last night that I was talking to my mom. I was telling her, “Mom, I LOVE Africa so much! I miss it!”

She said, “You need to live in South Africa. It’s where you belong.”

Could this have been prophetic?

I’m going to hope for yes. Why not?

After all,

This is home.