God is Bigger (than a scalpel)

April 18, 2010

SO last night, I stayed downstairs longer than Debs because Paul and I were watching Spiderman 3!

I had been planning on asking her for Tylenol before going to sleep for my silly arm.

But when I got up there, SHE WAS PLAYING SLEEPING BEAUTY!!! NOOOOO!!!!

By this time, my arm was in excruciating pain. NOT positive. But I was like, ok, there’s the consequence for watching a stupid movie. Pshh.

At this point I really missed my mom. There’s never a time you miss your mom so much as when you’re in pain. I didn’t really NEED my mom when I fell off the waterfall. But BOY. I needed her last night!

I started bawling annoyingly. I HATE crying. And I decided that sobbing was a really good reason to wake someone up. So, I tip-toed into Deb’s room.

“Debs, I’m so sorry but I hurt really bad and I’m really homesick and I need meds could you please help me?!” I blurt out as fast as I can.

Debs, merciful as she is, grants me Tylenol, water with which to consume them, and allows me to sleep in her bed with her. THANKS, DEBS!!!

I had a CRAZY dream about a hotel and all of the students and dinosaurs and rhinos and lions.

Morning was a relief.

We had chapel this morning at BI. Reagan was awesome. He talked about Jeremiah. God told him that from the beginning of time, he KNEW him, and called him, and destined him for great things. God also said that He would be with Jeremiah and that He would aid him in his trials. Therefore, the road would NOT be easy. And God would NOT accept Jeremiah’s lame excuse: “I am young, Lord!” Uh uh.

Something else cool? Jeremiah never left Israel. But God has used him around the world over and over and over again and for THOUSANDS of years!!!! This gives me hope for my loved ones in Mpophomeni and in Ocean View who will never leave their townships. God reminded me this morning that HE is BIGGER than the confines of space. He has the power to work in ANY way that he wants to. Thanks, God.

Class was…weird. It was the first time I was able to have internet in quite a while… And then Quinton made us close our computers…. So I was annoyed… and then I was hungry and had been saving this glorious juicy apple for CLASS to keep me awake, and THEN Quinton was all, “No eating in class.” SO… I was super super annoyed. Ahem. Yes, I didn’t really have a right to be. But HEY. These are my feelings. And once upon a time, someone told me to validate my feelings. So hurrah.

I went back to the Pancake and Waffle House with Aimee, Morgan, Melinda and Shayna. I got a “berry cocktail pancake.” I was very surprised when it was a crepe filled with pears and peaches… It was still good though. We all had fun J

I convinced Janet to take me to the doctor. Zach, Janet, and Shelli were convinced it was a cist. LOVELY.

Had I known what I would have experienced at the doctor’s, I would have convinced Janet NOT to take me. Ay yi yi.

Before I went in, it was totally positive. Janet and I had some much needed convo.

Ok, PAUSE. Can I please take a moment to mention how GRATEFUL I am for Janet?! I swear, she has saved my life like a million times!!!

UNPAUSE. “Renna? The doctor will see you now.” Here goes nothin’!

“What’s wrong with you, Miss?” he asks me.

“Well, I have this nasty-mcnast something on my arm… I’m not sure what it is. It could be a bite…” I lift up my sleeve to reveal the horror.

“WOW. That looks REALLY BAD.” Um, THANKS, Doc! That makes me feel GREAT! Positively PEACHY!

He ushered me to the elevated patient table with the annoying light shenanigan.

“Ok. That’s absolutely FILLED with pus. We have to drain it.”

HOLD UP. Shelli and Zachariah AND Debs told me that they wouldn’t have to slice and dice! They said I would only have to get antibiotics! WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS?! A full-fledged DOCTOR or something?! …….. Oh.

“DRAIN it?? Are you going to have to cut me?!”

“We must get the pus out. Or else it will get worse and worse” (he is currently demonstrating with his hands my lovely tumor, which is bigger than a silver dollar [GROSS, I KNOW] grow and grow to the size of a hamburger. EWWW. Doc, you are NOT HELPING!!!!!) and THEN you will have to go to hospital.” (PS: in Africa, you don’t go to “the hospital.” You go to “hospital.”)

It is at this point that I go into full-blown FREAK OUT mode. Janet holds my hand, and goes into full-blown survival status.

“RENNA! What is the FIRST thing you want to do when you get home?!”

Blubber, blubber.

“Uh… sniff sniff… g-g-g-go to t-t-t-twenty-one ch-ch-ch-oices…”

Doctor Evil brings over cleaning supplies.

“DON’T look, Renna! Stare out the window!” Janet warns me. Ah. Too bad the window had closed blinds. I thought about opening them, but decided that the unsuspecting passersby shouldn’t be subject to such atrocity.

And then I heard it. The clink of a scalpel. DEAR GOD, HELP ME. Did I mention I was in full-blown freak out?! I think I revved it up to over-the-top freak out-ness.

“JANET I am SO scared!!!” I don’t think I have ever wanted my mom so badly.

---Side note:  Now that I think about it, maybe it was good that it was Janet and not my mom. I was trying to keep some semblance of dignity. With my mom, I would have let my guard completely down and would have been a disgrace to humanity.

Here came my favorite person with his favorite toy: “Whatever you do, Miss, don’t moo-ove!” he said in a sing-song-y voice. Ohhhh I wanted to SLAP HIM.

And then he did it. I felt it pierce my skin (on one of the most sensitive parts of the body, so I’m told!). It wasn’t a little prick. I felt it go through layers and layers, and each layer it defied, the more the pain was magnified.

And before I knew it, I was yelling.

“THERE’S the pus!” Screeches a delighted doctor. WHO IS THIS GUY?!

“There is SO MUCH PUS!” Really, now?

And he decided to help the pus along. LOVELY.

You guys. This was seriously the WORST pain I have EVER felt. I would rather fall off that waterfall FIVE more times. It was excruciating. I kept thinking, “Is this what child labor is going to be like?!”

Soon-to-be-murdered Doctor Evil was squeezing my oozing and sliced-open wound. Oh, how I hated him.

I am pretty sure I sounded like a banshee. I thought about those poor patients in the waiting room… And then considered opening the blinds. Hopefully someone on the street would notice my AGONY and come rescue me!

FINALLY, the Slicer was done. He left my gushing arm all by it’s lonesome. He didn’t clean it after or anything. He just slapped gauze on it.

But what he did do was continue saying things that were OH so comforting. AND he continued using one of my favorite words. (HINT: it rhymes with “gus.”)

“I cannot BELIEVE how much PUS was in that!” Shut up.

“You were SO BRAVE amidst all that PUS!” Liar!

I tried to set him straight. “Thanks, but I was NOT brave.”

“That was serious pain right there. I mean, that was a big deal. I don’t think many people could have handled it so well as you.” Are you for real?! I was a stinking teenage scream queen!

“Does it hurt now, eh?” You mean, does my gaping tumor that you have recently CARVED without numbing me on one of the most SENSITIVE parts of the body, and then proceeded to squeeze poison out of, and is currently just chillin’ as it oozes, hurt? Wow. This guy’s a smartie pants. I can just tell.

“Um. YES.”

“Well, of COURSE it does! With all that PUS, I am just so surprised how you handled it!”

“Is it done getting gross stuff out?” I ask.

“Oh no. What it will do is ooze PUS for days and days. There is just SO MUCH PUS!” Ok. This guy has got to go.

“I’m sorry, sir, but could you please stop using the word pus?”

He LAUGHS. “Alright, there, Miss. Hang out there while I get your medicine.” OH the nerve to laugh at me in my pain!

By this time, I have gone a bit ballistic. I was in shock. I was shivering and sobbing and I couldn’t breathe and snot was gushing… I was really a sight for sore eyes, eh? [Woah, how many “s”’s did I just use?]

And my arm HURT SO BADLY. I cannot explain to you. I needed pain meds. PRONTO. And I am not someone who enjoys taking meds. I do it sparingly, only in emergency situations. And THIS was an emergency situation FOR SURE.

But the doctor wasn’t ready to make it feel better just yet.

He decided to tell me about what would happen, what with the stupid PUS and all. I couldn’t pay attention, it hurt so bad.

“I’m sorry,” I interrupt him, “but could I please have some pain meds? I hurt SO badly.”

He gives me two pills. They are huge.

“I’m sorry, but is there any way to get some water, please? I’m sorry…”

The dude gives me ‘tude and goes to find water. LAME!

When he brings me the water, I am currently having a hysterical fit. Great. I try to take the meds, but I end up laughing (out of shock, I’m pretty sure) and shoot snot out of my nose.

Doc doesn’t like snot. He shoves Kleenex at me. THANKS.

When we are FINALLY done with this silly (I’d prefer a different word.) man, [ok. To be fair, he could be a perfectly decent man. Really. Honestly, I can’t imagine being too keen on anyone stabbing my arm.] we go out to the receptionist who is just TOO SMILEY for the situation.

“And that’ll be 800 Rand please.”

Botox lady say WHAT?! I just paid 100 American Dollars for that jerk to STAB me and use the word PUS a thousand times?! NO WAY! UGH.

Oh. And did I mention Doc wants to see me again on Thursday? We are gonna be SUPER tight if he decided to knife me again. HA.

At this point, I am a MESS. It was embarrassing. But I could not stop shaking and leaking tears. I wanted my mother SO horrifically.

It was time for me to return to my home stay.

As much as I love them, I couldn’t bear seeing them then. The only word to adequately describe me was MESS. I couldn’t pull myself together enough.

Then beautiful Janet offered to take me to coffee. YES! And after more bawling, she invited me to dinner, and said she would take me home around 9! That gave me four hours to pull myself together! Hurrah!!!

Janet’s kindness made me cry some more.

Yesterday, I was feeling lonely. I prayed that God might help me feel loved today. Hey Janet? You were an answer to prayer.

And so was Tyler. I went inside BI to wait for Janet to get ready to go out, and the second Big Brother Tyler saw something was wrong, he came up to me and hugged me on my good side. He listened while I told him what happened. I was still shaking (but trying not to cry) and he gave me his jacket. It’s so nice to have a brother. Love you, man!

Liana, Heather, and Kara blessed me as well. Thanks, guys J

Janet and I were making dinner with her friend Natasha. We had ciabatta bread with soup and a brownie. But we needed an appetizer. SO I suggested apples and caramel! It was a HIT!

Tyler taught me a more positive way of slicing apples, Janet saw to the bread, and Natasha took care of the soup.

Supper was delicious.

As we were cleaning up, I recounted to Nurse Heather the details about my adventure. When she found out Doc didn’t numb me, she FREAKED OUT. She’s watched doctors operate on similar issues before, and she insisted that they would NEVER do ANYTHING without anesthetic because of the pain caused by those suckers, “ESPECIALLY under the arm!!!” Yep. NOW I feel better about how much it HURT.

We had about an hour left. I joined the gang for the first bit of Braveheart. It did NOT go so well. They had to tell me every time something gory happened. Which was like ALL the time. I ditched when the girl was about to get raped. I could NOT handle it.

Amazing Janet helped me change my gauze before dropping me off in Ocean View.

When I came up to the door, Luke burst out and yelled, “RENNA! ARE YOU OK?!!?!?!?!?!!”

“Yeah! I’m ok!”

Paul ran forward and scooped me into a huge bear hug. Which hurt, but was totally worth it.

Corinne cried, “My baby is home! Come to Mama! Are you alright, my darling?!”

I told them a less graphic version of what happened. And they FREAKED.

Paul offered to send Doctor Evil to one of two places. He lifted up his right arm and showed his muscle. “THIS will send him to hospital.” And then the other arm’s muscle. “But THIS baby will send him to graveyard! I’ll even let him choose!” He was totally kidding, guys. Just so you know.

Corinne made me some tea. “I called BI TWICE because I knew you had to be hurting so badly, my love!”

Paul chimed in, “We didn’t even know which hospital you were at, so we couldn’t come visit you and offer support!”

I was overwhelmed with love. I have known this family three days. And already, they have love for me. I almost cried…. Which seems to be a theme of my day.

I am so thankful for them.

Please pray for my arm’s healing! No more scalpels, PLEASE!!!

But you know what? God offered me major perspective today. Yes, this was the worst pain I have ever felt. But I am going to be fine, no problem.

As we were driving away from the clinic, I saw a man with one leg struggling to use crutches.

Now, that is something to be upset about.

I just have a story that will be funny tomorrow.

I am so blessed. And thankful.

And once again, God has proven that He is SO MUCH BIGGER than this little situation.