Love Knows.

March 31, 2011

THURSDAY

The LAST DAY of service sites!!!

It was surreal. The whole day occurred slower, with slightly less color. I felt as though I was watching a film, instead of actually living. I tried to soak up each precious moment, and commit those moments to memory so I could live with my loved ones at Ethembeni for the rest of my life.

Our morning was spent writing letters. I wrote SO MANY! And yet, so much remained unsaid. Partly because of time, partly because of language barriers, but mostly because some things are too sacred, to holy, to be minimized by trying to capture them in words, phrases, and sentences. This is new for me; I love words!

It was quite therapeutic for me to write those letters, however. At last I felt the freedom to tell them what words couldn’t. I told each person how much God loved them. I have been super intentional about trying to demonstrate God’s love. As much as I wanted to verbalize this, I felt that my time at Ethembeni was supposed to revolve around actions, which I’ve heard speak louder than words. In these letters, I found a new hope. I tried to keep the language simple, but I did not edit anything that was on my heart. I am trusting that there will be someone who can translate any confusing thoughts from my letters! I feel like I made a final hurrah by giving them something tangible and whole that they can keep with love from the Lord.

One of the letters I wrote yesterday was for Auntie Lihle’s daughter, Luyanda. I had met her twice, and Lihle told me, “She loves you! She asked if she could call you. But I told her that I didn’t have that kind of money. So can she write you?”

“Of COURSE!” So I wrote her a letter too.

She came yesterday. And she brought me a letter and candy!!! The sweetest thing of my entire life!

In the letter, she told me she loves me and that I am her star. So sweet.

We had a talent show today!

Here is the script I wrote for our team and NonJabulo:

Ethembeni’s Got Talent

Judge 1: TONIGHT is the night you’ve all been waiting for! Soon we will decide WHO is the most talented person in ALL of the WORLD!

Judge 2: And now, the FINAL round of Ethembeni’s Got Talent!

1) Hillbilly (Claire).

Hillbilly: Hi, I’m Billy Bob Horris. I like to ride pigs and dance in the barnyard!

Judge 1: What will you be singing?

Hillbilly: I’ll be singing “I’m Proud to be an Amer-ican.”

Singing…

Judge 2: Wow, #1, you are very talented… but I don’t think you are what we are looking for. Judge 1: Audience members, what do you think? (cheering, booing, etc.)

2) Opera (Karissa).

Opera: Hi! My name is Eunice Picklehopper. I really like math. And singing. I’m really nervous right now.

Judge 1: Don’t be nervous. What are you going to sing?

Eunice: I’ll be singing Rhapsody of Mpophomeni.

She sings.

Judges: I think every dog heard you from here to Cape Town! But still, you have a wonderful singing voice.

3) High School Musical (Shayna/ Renna). 

Sharpay: Hi! I’m Sharpay Evans and I’m going to be a star!

Ryan: Ahem. WE are going to be stars, Sharpay.

Sharpay: Whatever.

Sharpay and Ryan: We LOVE to perform!

Ryan: And now, please enjoy one of our showstoppers. Feel free to sing along!

They sing.

5) Shayna (Nomjabulo.)

Shayna: Hi, I’m Shayna. I want to be a hairdresser! I also want to be a social worker. I love to sing to make others happy.

Judge 2: What song are you going to sing?

Shayna: I’m going to sing “I Gotta Go my own way.”

Sing

Judges: That was so beautiful! (Standing ovation.) We love you, Shayna!

Host: It’s now time to choose the winner! Shout out the number of your favorite contestant!

The judges deliberate. The contestants freak out.

Judges: And NOW. The moment you’ve all been waiting for! The WINNER of Ethembeni’s Got talent is: SHAYNA!!!

Shayna: Thank you so much! I love you all! Goodnight!!!

So Nonjabulo (who wanted to be called Shayna) got the chance to act and sing! I felt like I was able to give her a bit of my soul, as we share a passion for performing. She was wonderful. And it just made me realize how BLESSED my childhood was. All I did was theatre. And I loved every minute of it. And here is this girl who will most likely never be in a show of any kind. So, even if for a moment, in a super small way, I was blessed enough to help her live her dream. I am so blessed because of it.

Saying goodbye to the kids was surreal AGAIN. One of my favorite little girls that I want to adopt is named Akhona. I watched her being carried home through the gate and was overwhelmed with the recognition that I will probably never see this little angel ever again.

I realized that if I was to describe this experience, it would be thus: (yes, THUS J)

My life and the lives of those at Ethembeni are two roads. The roads are so completely different in every imaginable way: race, color, language, where we live, our life goals, our pasts, our presents, our futures, our ways of life… the differences are ENDLESS.

And yet, SOMEHOW, God brought these two paths together in passing, just for a few weeks. I was blessed enough to be forever impacted, molded, and transformed by those on that path, and hopefully they can say the same about me. They will always be on my heart.

They taught me how to love. Each person that I got to know in any increment told me yesterday, “I love you,” when they were saying goodbye. What? How?

From the very beginning, these people have defined love. When I was on crutches, EVERY DAY, all of the staff members would ask “HOW is your foot?!” EVERY day, without fail. Who honestly cares that much? And every time there would be improvement, they would be so excited! And even when there wasn’t even an ace bandage to remind them, they would continue to ask me how my foot was doing.

I feel like my job here at Ethembeni was love through action. I am used to love through words. Karissa shared this amazing quote with me: love instinctively knows what is needed.

For me, that meant that I needed to love on these children by holding them, tickling them, smiling at them, etc. And I learned so much through that.

Even when we said goodbye, I could see love in their eyes. Love abounds.

I am forever changed, because I have been unconditionally loved.

Epic-ness from Danielle tonight:

“I realized freedom isn’t about getting to do whatever you want. It’s being free from your own fears and insecurities so you can be free to fully live for Christ. Free to love big and live big.”